Get a bit of butter heating in a frying pan
Run outside and cut some asparagus from the garden
Run inside before the butter goes more than slightly brown
Fry up the asparagus in butter until warmed and ever-so-slightly brown
Put on plate and squirt some fresh lemon or lime juice on them (also from the garden)
Eat straight away
UNDER NO CIRCUMSTANCES EAT TINNED OR BOILED ASPARAGUS